Life after Motherhood: A journey to self discovery

Subtitle

A mother's journey and how she's finding herself after motherhood.

Purpose statement

I'm interested in targeting one of the most selfless audiences out there, Yet, most deserving the "Mothers" of the world. Just like Mother Earth she is undervalued and over utilized to the point of destruction or loss of her original/identity. I am her, she is me!

Hey mom, momma, mother, T-Lady...,

I'm sure you may get tired of hearing that being whined all day lol. But you'd never say it because you're a "good" mom. What is a "good" mom anyway? I'm sure you don't know but you're on this quest to live up-to a role that is unclear and undefined. It's role manifests into this snowball effect of shortcomings and insecurities in our imaginations. Is she someone that never says no, one that doesn't have boundaries, one that is always eager to nurture and help everyone, not only her OWN children, one who loves all children lol? I'm sorry I had to laugh at that last one. This saint that society paints in our head is fictitious, an illusion. She doesn't exist! In that sense anyway; and with all the other boxes us moms have to tick off our lists; trying to fulfill the needs of others, it's no wonder we feel the two's stage is so terrible. It's not the two's that's terrible its the effects

of maternal burnout! We are running on fumes; an empty glass pouring our souls into every one we come in contact with. I say everyone because for some reason when you become a mother you're all of a sudden biologically programmed and prepared to be everyone's mother apparently. I didn't get that memo in the manual. But in case they didn't notice there's no manual on how to be this perfect mother and raise the "perfect" human. We use intuition, instinct, love, compassion and empathy as tools to guide us in the right direction. But we lose those natural tools along the way, clouded with this ignorant notion that is partially made up internally and perpetuated in our society. This makes us so prideful that we rarely even ask for advice or help. Because we SHOULD automatically know how to take care of this bundle of joy on our own somehow.

I struggled with these feelings myself especially after having a stillbirth at 41 weeks in 2015. After having my rainbow baby in 2018 my crazy got even crazier lol. But one day I just snapped out of the "norms" embedded in our society.

Here are a few steps I took to reclaim myself as a Woman 1st, and mother 2nd while embarking on my spiritual journey.

1st, Recognize your worth. You show people how to treat and view you by the way you treat and view yourself. No one is going to love and respect you the way YOU will. It starts within. Self=roots=foundation and without those you are lost in the wind and so are your children.

2nd, Ask for help. Now, I know this one may be hard for some of you, but you HAVE to use the resources around you. Not until parenthood did I truly believe it took a village to raise a child. You CANNOT do it alone! Motherhood is already the ultimate sacrifice so why go and sacrifice yourself even more by not allowing people who love you to offer assistance... because I know they offer. You probably just keep saying, "it's ok, I got it. Thanks though." No! Stop right there and REFRAME that mindset. Try, "Sure I could use an extra hand or a little assistance, thanks for asking." And do it without SHAME, GUILT or Self-Judgement! See, now that wasn't too bad, was it?

3rd, Set boundaries. Ok, so I know I said it takes a village but that doesn't mean because you ask for help they inherit the right to tell you what to do with YOUR child. They can suggest all day, but that's it! It's your decision, as the MOTHER, what the final say is. One of the many perks of being the boss lol.

4th, Set out to find yourself again. You may not recognize her in the end. Rebirth is real and

it's pretty deep if you really think about it. Because the first person we should actually mother is ourselves, acknowledging your needs is actually the most SELFLESS thing you could do. You can't share from an empty cup. How can one help others if they can't help themselves, nor have a sense of purpose in life? Do something that you truly love! I don't care how small it may seem. Do it because it makes YOU HAPPY not anyone else! Date yourself, fall in love with that QUEEN that's been dormant for too long... or do absolutely NOTHING... rest. I'm sure the stillness, peace and quiet would be great, considering how households with children can be sometimes. Take your 1st selcare step and the rest will be history. Break the cycle. You won't regret it! You deserve it!

And finally,

5th, Give yourself grace. You are raising a whole human(s) life. That's a big deal and you are the LAST person that should be putting extra pressure on your SOUL. You get enough of that from everyone else putting their two cents in your business lol. Enjoy your little one and remember they will not remember your little shortcomings but what they will remember in the long run money can't buy. Love your child(ren) unconditionally and hold on as long as you can because one day you'll need them to hold on to you. If you take these simple steps you WILL become that "perfect" mom... to the ones that matter.

Peace, Love, and Light my SOULution Seekers

-Somehow who cares💜